Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The Blogging Family Grows!

Who cares that it's not officially Valentine's day anymore-what better way to make a normal day a special one than surprise packages and "meeting" my secret Cupid and Cupid-ee! :-D

I was on my way to practice when I came down and found a large manilla envilope lying on the table addressed TO ME! Needless to say I neverminded the fact that arriving at practice late means missing the beloved run, as I dashed upstairs to my new goodies and friend. :)
Mrs LC from "Life according to Mrs. LC" had sent me some tasty goodies--chocolate and Lara bars--and somehow she "knew" to send me the coconut kind! I always wanted to try more coconut flavored things, and in a beloved "bar" couldn't be better!
Better yet, I feel like Mrs. LC must have stalked my facebook, not just my blog--she created a gorgeous MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE BOOK for me! I absolutely love quotes. I have several documents and an email file of ones I've saved. I repeat them as mantras and they have had an extremely positive impact on my life's journey and are part of the core of my tenacity. I was just thinking that my old emails and files were getting redundant. I've browsed the booklet eagerly, and look forward to taking one or two to heart each day with a new zest and RAWR!
She also had the very creative idea to "send me flowers." Have I ever said anything about the fact that one of my main girlie touches is that I have a big soft spot for getting flowers? For someone who loves the practical and has a tomboy sort of theme, flowers are the one thing I consider so special and touching. Since flowers are a bit difficult to package she sent me some Zinnia seeds. I plan to plan them over spring break next week and use the flowers as a manifestation of the life I am trying to "grow" for myself this year!
Muchos thank you's to Mrs. LC from "Life According to Mrs. LC" for these wonderful treasures:
...I did make it to practice just in time, but the moment I got home I anxiously popped on to check out Mrs. LC's blog...and guess what? My own Secret Cupid Anna at http://runeatplayandbreathe.blogspot.com/ had received her package as well.
Here's a toast to new friends and ties amongst our fitness/foodie blogging community. I love you all!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Letting down my bloggin fam!

I know, I rave about how I love it, and yet I'm struggling to do my part! I got my secret Valentine's package all set and yet I've been driving this pink box around in my car all week now! grr...hopefully now that the insanest-schedule part of the week is over I'll actually make it to the post office!

My deepest apologies to a blogger who might get bit by cupid a bit late this year...

Saturday, February 7, 2009

First Race...rebirth of my dreams, of me

Last minute decision to run the first race of the year with the team.
I haven’t run a race I didn’t anticipate and to some extent prepare for.
I haven’t run a XC race at all in years.

And of all times…
I just took the longest COMPLETE break [no training at all] that I have had in ages.
I’ve been running less than three weeks, less than 20mpw, no speed work.

But my running has brought me back to life.
And I’m loving my team.

Why not?
I get to do something with the team.
I need the racing experience even if I can’t “race.”I asked the coach, addressing my concern for injuring myself without training/speed foundation, and he said go for it—treat it like a training run.
…and like I said, what I need most training in is just the practice of racing!

So I was in. And I couldn’t have made a better decision!

Words can’t describe it. I have been resurrected, and this seals the deal. 2/7/09 feels like a birthday of sorts, one in my soul—not just for my running, but for the me I now feel.

I love the team. The race was so much fun. The whole experience was the best I’ve had in ages. I’m happier than I can remember. I have more hope than ever before.
I feel alive, and though I’m putsin’ around doing nothing, dealing with a GI flareup,
I’m thriving. I’m me.

Bonus Points:

1. I won for my age group women [20-24]! The first time I’ve ever won a race, too.
2. I was a racer, not the invalid on the side supporting my team: and I felt strong!
3. It gave me a lot of hope:
I didn’t run the race well, technically speaking. I was suck in the pack for the first mile, then when I broke loose at the second mile I had no idea how to run. How fast can I run 3 miles? How fast should I run? So I just cruised and had fun. I know I could have easily doubled the distance at that pace…and I certainly have a lot of areas I can improve with more training, race specific preparation, and better conditions!
Maybe, just maybe, I CAN reach the top levels of distance running I dream of with such passion…

Friday, February 6, 2009

Blogger Love ...and freebie question

After being non the outskirts of blog-land for so long, I'm finally starting to feel like part of this community, and loving it and the people in it so much! I may have yet to meet my friends physically, but the bonds I have with those I've met here are pretty incredible. Actually, in a way I think online communities help us to find true friends--because we are able to reach out to a bigger pool of people and find the souldmates that we might not otherwise meet, halfway round the world or across the country! ...and I do hope that we shall someday meet and I know we'd have quite a time together. :)

That said, now that I have some more readers of my own [too often neglected blog],
I have a question for you more experienced foodies:
By in large I have to drool over your tasty eats, since I can't afford large amounts of "health geared" products, special bars, or even large amounts of fruit and the like.
But one thing I've seen on several occassions is people talking about getting free packages from companies. How do you manage that? I emailed cliff bar on a whim last night, just hoping.. I love the nutrients and macronutrient breakdown of those, but can't afford them. Plus I've heard of all these new flavors, and since I'm not huge on peanut butter or chocolate [please don't murder me right then and there!] I would really like to try some of the random ones I keep hearing about like pumpkin and even zuccini. Anyhow, I was hoping they might send me some of these to "sample" in a marketing quest, but no word so far.
Those of you who have managed great deals or free samples: any tips for snagging some of my own?!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Please don't kick me down...

No, make that: I won't give you the power to take me down.
...easier said than done...

This week has been incredible for me on the eating front. Not so much what or how much as my overall mentality. I realized I was getting way to obsessed with planning and logging and figuring--even with all the complications, I was getting caught in my infamous trap of thinking too hard.
So I decided to let it go. I made decisions about how I was going to monitor and guide my intake, but didn't obsess over outlining plans and logging things and reoutlining an altered idea.
I kept my goals on the forfront of my decisions about what to eat, but I kept my life on the main plate of my daily time spent.

The crazy thing was, I did what I put my mind to more than I ever did when I outlined all the details. My target total, the WHOLE improvement aimed at for the next day, and all my quotas and makeup goals. I ate my allotted healthy balance of beloved fruit, veggies, and fiber--even after coming off an extreme of having none for a week, and the abundance of new groceries [which has previously triggered me to lose control and eat it nonstop]. I cut back on coffee. I ate my favorite foods and enjoyed leisurely snacks where I could, and I crammed whatever calories I could get when and how needed when necessary.
I prioritized my life and didn't neglect my eating, but made it work with my life.

Then comes the downer. I was home for a big chunk of the day, but determined not to be the misunderstood victim of all kinds of judgements and assumptions typically made by my family, especially in terms of my eating and diet needs. In fact, another big thing I'd done this week was take some baby steps to heal the relationships instead of running away--talking and opening up to one of my sisters and my mother. Boy did that backfire.
Now it's not just comments under the skin, but outright picking on me constantly. And the thing is, I WANT people to talk to me and not just make assumptions. But I want it to be an open slate--I want them to listen and be open to thinking outside the box. Instead, I got the point of what they thought and then a wall came up--no room to listen or hear where I was coming from.
So much for support and understanding. Now I feel even more hurt than ever.
And instead of excited about my progress, I feel angry. So angry that I've already let it go to some extent today. Not all down the drain, but I'm struggling with old habits again, and feeling so very, very alone.

I want support, I want understanding. I have a lot of work to do and I let myself down a lot and I need tough love to keep me on track--but that only works if the person who gives the "tough love" is also open to thinking outside ther own little box of how things must work.
Or the box they've put me in because it's the only thing they can understand and discovering something-someone-different brings on too much insecurity?