TOUGH IN EVERY WAY!

For starters, I MADE that infamous 4000 calorie target I’ve been aiming for or “building to” all summer happen last night. Oh I was going to base targets off of my weigh ins, build to it by Labor Day, etc. But sometime last week that tenacious extreme thing in me took over and I just said SCREW it—August first is my eadline. August is going to be not one day under 4000! I don’t care that I gained weight in the low 3000’s last week—I want my top notch lifestyle. I want the most out of my demands. I don’t care about the big jump—heck knows all those extra calories go to good places. Come Sept. I’ll either have the infamous metabolism catching up yet again [I’m already double what I should supposedly need at my size even if extremely active] or I can adjust from there. All I know is I cant go wrong with too much at this point—every calorie has a valuble place in my weight, healing, and my training, repair, etc.!
Still, the logic of it is easier than the action. My stomach rebelled, time rebelled. Doing it on top of my bathroom training [always holding it] and with #2 Problems [constipated, stuck, very uncomfortable] made it so eating isn’t “just eating” for me. And here I am trying to eat double time!
But I did it. Stuffed, bloated, and up way too late it happened. I put my mind to it and did it.
Now I just have to continue training the makeup and timing. I have to admit, while I did get 1500 calories in after church [post-10pm] I had also made some dramatic improvements during the day—aka I didn’t add all 1000 calories late. Nonetheless, I need to retrain so I’m rocking with bigtime input from start to finish! Main issues being TIME and TUMMY. L

Today was my first run at marathon pace. Now this was a test of my mental toughness more than anything else. I have a tendacy to want to quit when I don’t feel like I can make my goal. I find it easier to “clean the slate” and start over then “let myself down.” I know though that the onl way I can ever reach my lofty goals is to be able to persevere no matter what. Hence, coming off a slow week, running on a bad night’s sleep and a messed up tummy in still-hot and humid conditions, I told myself that even if I wasn’t capable of running 12m at marathong pace this run had an important purpose: I would train myself to be mentally tough and finish my run.
I wanted to quit when my legs didn’t feel right warming up.
I wanted to quit when I didn’t think there was any way I’d hold that pace for 4 more sets of 4 miles.
I wanted to quit when my LEGS were quitting on me between miles 8 and 10.
I wanted to quit because I felt like even if I DID get through 12m, there was no way I could do that twice.
Everything in me said “start over!” Reorganize and plan your training and do this right!
But that’s not my problem. I need to overcome the compulsion to quit out of the fear of not making my goal.
And I did.
I finished my run. Ironiclly, right about on pace, plus a second or two. The run still made me more nervous about my race because it WAS so hard to run that fast for 12m that I can’t imagine doing that twice + 2 more miles.
But you know what? Back training for Bayshore I remember my first 16 miler. Oh, it was a thrill, but it terrified me. There was no way I could run another step, much less 10 more miles. That was the first day of real respect for the marathon for me—the day I realized I did have my limits and couldn’t just “run forever as long as I don’t have to run fast.” In any case, point is: I did the run and came out scared because the 16m was all I could do.
Today I am scared because 12m was all I can do at 8mpm.
But I know if I continue to be tough about doing what I need to do—my training and habits [sleep and time management are going to need to be tackled as hardcore as intake!] than I CAN run that pace for 26.2.