Run Happy :)

Running again = Living Again

Funny thing is I don't even entirely consider it "running." But every moment brings me to life...a life that goes beyond the run or even the runner's high itself. I'm beginning to feel like myself again--from the times I'm agitated and stressed to the times I dink around to the time my head hits the pillow. Even my emotions are more under control--sure I'm still a drama queen, but not in this panicked state of doom.

I went back to check out the running club today, and loved it. I met yet another new friend who had a freakish lot in common with me. We both went into college as dance/performance majors, have a gymnastics background, and came out Personal Trainers! Now we're both at the community of the colleges as we prepare to apply to the same grad schools, both currently moved back in with our parents. Anyhow, it was great to be part of a team of sorts, and I hope this friendship blossoms into something as well!
As for the run...well, my barrier is no longer getting back in shape. My cardiovascular fitness still increases far faster than my legs are ready for! I stuck to the slow, chat filled, 2 mile loop and didn't follow the speed demon for a second spin. But I almost wish I had the way I was still flying high by the time I get home! I'm not planning on running myself to the ground anytime soon, but I didn't even feel, well, nearly "done!" Ah well, always next time...and I want it to be an uphill ride back to real running times and lots of great races this year!

My digestion improved significantly too, and while I'm still working through a lot I am thinking clearer in sorting it out. The same way it was a long process of breaking away from the "find the perfect plan" mindset for my training, I have to do for my diet, my nutrition backbone. Because the more I learn about digestion issues, from severe IBS to Crohn's, the more I realize that while the key principles definitely apply [and I'm trying to incorporate them into how I eat], so much is individual. I have to find out for myself. And while I'm in desperate need of medical testing and treatment, i can only work with what I can control. i've found out enough to know enough 'likely possibilities" to proceed to coping mechanisms.

However, even with the ups and downs, one thing is for sure--my appetite is going full force! - likely more due to feeling myself then the running itself [since I ate enough to compensate for a week of running in one day with the amount I've increased!] - haha, I'm just about hitting 4000 this week, after struggling to hit 3000 last week. But honestly, I'm thinking of breaking off counting. At this point I think i have a lot more to learn by focusing on my needs, be it for my healing and digestion, or for my running/general nutrition types of needs. One way or the other I have to keep going. Keep learning. I think 2009 truly IS my year--I haven't flipped to my ideal life, but I'm on my way because I'm hanging on and holding strong, dealing with real issues and barriers so that I can get through to my goals, my dreams.