The glass is half FULL!

I got up to another gorgeous, runner's dream kind of day. My fourth day of not running, on the very week of "ideal running" weather, conditions--and lifestyle conditions for me [not much else going on].
This sucks, I keep thinking, why do I have to take so many "breaks" and why am I alway missing the best running days?
Not to mention I feel great--I probably could be running and not hurting myself!?

But then I remembered something.

Two years ago, a couple weeks before my birthday, I had my second sfx. It was more than just another serious injury, it was a sword in my soul because I had just realized what a gift, what a part of me my running was, after having it taken from me for so long with the first slow-to-heal sfx. It was such a slap in the face, just when I was thriving aas me again, raving my gratitude for this blessing, to have another injury come for no apparent reason. I felt like it was a cruel joke, and I felt hopeless--just when i had finally come back from an injury I couldn't seem to recover from for a good two years.

I remember I didn't even want to celebrate my birthday. It was the closest I have ever come to true depression. Normally I am the kind of person who always takes a problem and looks for a "gameplan" to solve it and gets on task. But having spent the better part of my college running doing just that, only to be knocked down again, i had the wind sucked out of me. And not just my running, it took something out of every area of life. That day i limped in bawling, nothing else I wanted to do that way had any appeal--not my planned lunch reunion, grad school interview, I didn't even want to eat.

And this year-a week before my birthday...
Yes, I'm missing runs again. Yes, running at the perfect time to run.
Yes, this is after not having done a whole lot of training to begin with [aka not a long overdo break].
But you know what?
I look forward to not only a summer full of running, but the best running I've done since coming back. I'm taking a normal break, not a sfx layoff, and already looking to a race in a few weeks.
My dreams are coming alive before my lives--I am nothing but blessed.

So while I can't deny a selfish pout as I glance out the window, my soul rejoices that it is being resurrected in the sport that gives it such life! :)

Cheater Chip!

So apparently my chip time was 11 seconds faster...not that it makes a difference, but I'll take it!

Recovery, Rest, and Blah

I didn’t go to practice this morning. Normally I’d play it by ear, see how my leg feels [since it’s so unpredictable], but having finished the second half marathon of my cycle, and just getting ready to start my summer training, I want to use this week to make sure I’m fully healed, solid to start a strong summer—not one I hang in there, get through, or compromise.

It’s tough where I’m at here. Recovery days/periods are refreshing after a phase of hard work, but coming off of two weeks of cutting stuff out of my training, I’m not exactly feleing like more rest days.

Nonetheless,I was definitely exhausted! I stayed in bed over 8 hours [not counting getting up every hour or two for the rest room], and after sitting around eating and on the computer for a couple hours, went back to bed for a shut-eye pretend-it nap for another hour just now! The idea was that I’d do something after lunch…and yet I find myself again in zombie mode on the computer, just counting down til I leave for work. Ah well, I’ve gotten through days like this before, and if nothing else I’ve just got all that much more pep once I finally get movin’ with life!

Half Marathon #2!

I am so exhausted right now, I feel as though everything I wanted to write eludes me. But I have been trying to “get it together” to write all day now, so I must start to put down something!

The thing that stands out most for me, and was also the most important aspect in respect to my “race training” for this race was it was the first time since the college running days that I was running under pressure, that I didn't just have hopes for where this can lead, I had expectations for this race, today.
My first time with expectations. The first time competition wasn’t just a last minute whim, but something I fought for from before the race started.
My competitive spirit has never died, in fact, it has only grown in the last couple years. However, the part of me longing to be the “best of the best” is always a dream.
Slowly but surely, as I work my way back up [and beyond?!] I am getting to that point where I—and those who support me—realize I do have chances at things like placing and time cuts.
Pressure has always been my weakness. I don’t want anyone to expect anything of me. I’ve always been that way, it has even left me balking at races [I still think it’s one reason I DNF’ed at nationals—realizing I wasn’t going to run on par with how I had at states, much less better, scared me more than the athsma attack that lead me to drop out].
This is a weakness I have to work on if I want to run at the top levels. I can’t expect to be highly competitive and have the reputation of a recreational runner: I can’t have it both ways. As I gain ability to compete at higher levels, as I run more races and lower my PR’s, I’m going to get labeled. People aren’t going to think “you’re doing good to finish,” and I have to accept it when someone says “you know the winner last year ran a 1:31…hint, hint.”

The other thing about this race is it’s the first one I’ve trained for this year. The last couple races I enetered on a whim. True to my “no pressure” strength, I did well. This time, I had to practice running where I expected something of myself. Where others “knew” I was good enough to do more than finish.

I was pretty good with all this—after all I’d been working up for this race, feeling my runs get stronger and surpassing boundaries, until this last week.
Then, two weeks out of “my race,” one of my famous phantom injuries hit.
This time, I don’t have a great reason. My training level has been the same over the past couple months. It’s much lower than what I’ve done in the past. With a few 1-3 day exceptions, even my sleeping and eating habits have improved this spring.
The only thing was that I did spend my peak training weeks in past-dead shoes. Could definitely have sealed my fate, seeing as my second sfx occurred the minute I tried to run in non-specialty-store shoes.

To add to the enigma of my injury sagas, I couldn’t figure out how to recover as best possible. As usual, the standard ideas don’t work for me. Gets worse after resting, worse after upper body strength. Run and then it’s better. Getting that message the first week left me doing only easy runs during race week [no strength, no cross training]. Low and behold, I hit an all time low, barely able to walk the day before the race.
I’ve been hear before—that unbearable frustration with no cause and fix, the huge letdown of another crash just when I’m roaring strong.


But what really, really had me upset here was that I am in the best race shape I’ve been yet since starting my comeback.
Not just how “much” I can run or even how fast, but the race specific training and all-around training from every angle: strength, endurance, speed. From fartlek’s to progression long runs to hill sprints to strength training, I’ve incorporated it all these last couple months and seen a lot of fitness gains. It was obvious, even as the injury hit, that I was peaking just right when even a painful 7 miles felt like a 2 mile warm up. When my last long run felt like race pace at the end.
It just killed me to be so perfectly ready for a great race and have my leg just not work!

I actually toyed with dropping out. I really didn’t want to just “run 13 miles.”
I know I can do that…I want to race doggonit.
But I decided to give it a try—heck, with the way things work for me you just never know.

Well, there was no “enigma recovery” but I did manage to “race.” It was pretty solid from a racing perspective: even splits, strong finish. I wasn’t quite where I wanted to be, what my training had been on par for, but it wasn’t a complete flop either.
I was frustrated with the bursts of energy I had at 9-10 miles, and again in the last couple miles, but my inability to actually sprint or even run terribly fast just because my leg felt like it was being torn off. Almost disconnected, unable to use the “juice” in there even as I ignored the pain.
But, I did push it. I gave it all I had, right down to a heaving finish. I PR’ed by just over 2 minutes and took 5th in my age group. I wanted to win, but looking at the field I can understand that it was a different group than last year, and certainly much bigger and faster than Borgess. [I’ve met the girl who won it, she’s running for a sponser and has years of experience and healthy training on me—but you better believe I’m chasing her!]

In sum-

Results:
1:33:21
5th Place Female Age Division
30th Place Female Overall

Race Report!

First Half Marathon: 4/25/09


This race gets the prize of the best distance race I’ve run since my comeback. The trip was fantabulous, the race was the most fun, and it was the best I’ve ever felt mentally and physically [from my strength to my lack of pain*]. I loved it!
*Disclaimer: I woosed out and didn’t really start working until well past halfway, which could contribute to my “feeling so good”

It didn’t start out as a big deal. I’m on a 10K training program and just getting back into things with training since my full blown break over the holidays.
This is the first race I’ve run coming off <70mpw training—just getting into the 40’s the last couple weeks.
I was excited because I got to “travel.” This lovely little club dealio not only has given me a fantastic coach and friends on the team like I never expected, but they also pay for my races…and in this case, food and accommodations! Combine that with the way the treat me and take care of me and I feel like I’m an elite!

Anyhow, as the week went on I went from being nervous about my “unpreparadness” to run this distance to a bit of excitement about the fact that for once I wasn’t hurting. I felt fresher every day, energized, strong, and pain free. I ran Bayshore still in tricky territory from the stress fracture I’d had through half my training cycle. I ran CRIM severely overtrained and anemic. My iron is still low and my legs are tricky territory, but overall I have not felt this solid, powerful, and just plain healthy since before college!

I had to wonder—what would happen having trained less but faster, and healthier + stronger? Would I do better, or did I need to wait until my training builds up a bit more to really reap the benefits of a healthy body?

Today’s race showed me that something’s going right this year…
…and that God has blessed me more than words can describe as my legs once again become the wings of my soul! :)

Miles 1-3 =Frustration!
There were a lot, lot, lot more people than expected. I’ve never had so much pushing, shoving, tripping at the start of a distance event. 900-something women and who knows how many men. Of course I was at the back. This not only meant over a minute before I crossed the start, but it was at least 2 miles worth of not only slow running, but a lot of wasted energy jumping around everyone!

Miles 4-6 =cruising and wondering
I just plain had no idea how I should feel. Churn my legs a bit, or would I crash? Run easy and pick it up the second half? I have to confess, with painful memories of CRIM still strong, I aired more on the latter—woosy—option. L I decided I’d “cruise” and see how I was doing halfway.

Miles 6-7 =Hot, but more energy?
I ditched my tshirt at mile 2. Having not run in above 60 degress this year, the 70-80 degree race was getting to me a bit. Still, the energy seemed to be coming, not running out. At miles 6-7 I realized I felt more energized than I had at the start. Feeling like whimp, I decided to pick it up. Then I got nervous and went back to cruise mode….whimp!

Mile 8 on =ok, time to pick things up!
Alright, still not even winded at mile 8 and all I could think was I guarantee Kara Goucher doesn’t feel like this at mile 8, or anything close. I mean come on—it’s one thing to not be in the kind of shape for the kind of running I dream of doing, but to not even be on that level of effort? That’s ridiculous. Here’s where I tried to pick it up. I knew I could run 5 miles sub-7, and I knew I didn’t want to have another 10 mile run left in my legs at the finish!
I got a little feisty with the competition too. Having started at the back, I’d been running by people all along, but those last 5 miles I turned my focus from one woman too the next. In the back of my mind I hoped there just might be a chance I’d place…

Miles Something = Hills!
A lot of rolling hills, which I took surprisingly better with the new nature of my training. The toughest part was actually going down. The second steep drop especially—I could just feel my legs slamming as much as I wanted to “ride the hill.” And I have a feeling the thick/lactic acid feeling that kicked in at miles 11-12 was from that…as will be any DOMS I get tomorrow!

Miles 11-12 –Finally hurting!
Now I knew I was pushing it. I still went back and forth between really “running” and just trying to pick up the pace, but I did focus on moving my legs faster. Especially as the heat got to me and the nausea set in. I kept thinking “my stomach doesn’t have to do a thing, just keep the legs moving.” This was actually the sickest I’ve ever gotten in a race. The marathon took more out of me physically, but I wasn’t this sick, dry heaving and what not. The only thing I can think is that I was less acclimatized to the heat here, because it was definitely not the hardest race I’ve run.

Finishing Hard
Despite having taken a while to get going, I did satisfy myself with giving it everything at the end. My legs were very much just about to go as I churned through the finish line. It was pretty exciting because they announced my name coming down the chute—that’s never happened to me before. I was kinda mad that some women still came in ahead of me, but I hoped my time was an improvement and maybe a start of actually getting competitive with my running again.

Post-Race
I was about to keel or hurl at the finish, but after a few minute of walking around felt capable of jogging again. The toughest part was drinking and eating. I’ve frequently gotten quesy and had my appetite surpressed after a race or hard long run, but not this extreme for this long. It literally took me hours to get half a water bottle down, and I definitely didn’t keep any food down within a half hour of the race, or even an hour for that matter. Normally I make this happen no matter what, but this time I literally couldn’t. I only hope that my usual make-up eating can compensate somewhat so I don’t totally jinx my recovery and future performance, though I know I missed the primetime for glycogen replenishment. :(

The coach and team were amazing yet again. Seriously, I’ve never been treated like this. I felt so special! Haha it’s so cheesy I know, but true. The coach walked me around, got my Gatorade and coat [which I couldn’t even think of wearing!], figured out when and what I could stop for food, and helped me analyze the race, the competition, and where to go from there. On the half hour back to the hotel we discussed what this race indicated in terms of my ideal training. I feel like he understands my goals, my dreams—the fact that I really do want to be a top level runner, and that is what motivates me perhaps more than my “love for running” to overtrain like I did last summer. I mean I had a lot of people tell me that, but I felt like they didn’t get it, the way I’d trained and run in the past, the way I wanted to be. It’s not like I just want to stay in shape or be capable of a marathon—I live to run and want that running life at the top.

But my coach understands that, and he was talking to me about finding what your body responds to best. About elites who run 2:30’s off 70-80mpw, despite most of their peers running 100+. Plus, having been a 2:30 marathoner himself, he’s done it all from 120mpw training to over training to finding that ideal balance. AND his big “thing” as a coach is to work with individuals to help them find what they need…just my style, being such a complicated individual myself!
I don’t know what kind of mileage my future holds, but I do know that I can only run at the level I want to from the kind of training that I respond to best.
It’s not about compromising my running goals to “stay healthy.” It’s about seeing what type of training can best get me to those goals.

The team just cracks me up. They all ran the 5K and think just running “farther” makes you this great runner. They kept asking me stuff like if I was going to go to the Olympics and whatnot! Seriouly, too. Definitely gave me a confidence boost, and a big change from being the gimpy one chasing from behind!

The fact that they not only “put up with me” the whole entire trip, but seemed to like me and want to be my friend was so cool too. I admit, one of the guys compared me to “the squirrel” on some move that just wouldn’t stop bouncing around. He said “then give her her morning coffee and it’s like when the squirrel gets that can of pop and goes haywire!” hmm…complemenet or insult? I wasn’t sure, but I sure didn’t get the feeling anyone was annoyed with me, though they did threaten to make me run laps around the hotel at midnight!
It was like I felt that “runner connection” that makes me feel so at home, so me, plus the feeling that I am accepted as me, and maybe even liked? I dunno, but it was a cyclic effect to making me thrive this weekend in ways that far surpass even a normal good day. :)

Overall this whole experience was undescribable, and while I kept thinking of everything I wanted to write about, I just can’t find the right or enough words to explain it. Between the trip, the people, and the race—it far surpassed the “cool traveling race” I was so excited for!

And my dreams are alive and rarin’ stronger than ever…I can’t wait to move on!

Results:
1:35:49
1st Place Female Age Division
5th Place Female Overall

I wanna come back to blog land!

I didn't mean to evaporate....I've still been reading blogs and wanting to participate, but I was a bit unsure where to go with mine. I really want to restructure my blog a bit, rather than on and off rambling.

I thought about starting a new blog on wordpress or something, like a lot of others have, but I really like my layout and what I've started here. I just want to be able to post in a more structured fasion, and maybe have some themes.

I'd like to kindof make this my blogging otu of the "days in the life of my Olympic training center" as I like to call it. :)
Themes like daily eats, training, daily life, and pondering posts.

So I'm asking you--my fellow bloggers who have this thing down so much better:
-Is there a way to have posts categorized by themes?
-Any suggestions [and specifically how! I'm a dunce at figuring out technology] to how I could restructure this?

so this is my hello!!! ...and... help!!!

The Blogging Family Grows!

Who cares that it's not officially Valentine's day anymore-what better way to make a normal day a special one than surprise packages and "meeting" my secret Cupid and Cupid-ee! :-D

I was on my way to practice when I came down and found a large manilla envilope lying on the table addressed TO ME! Needless to say I neverminded the fact that arriving at practice late means missing the beloved run, as I dashed upstairs to my new goodies and friend. :)

Mrs LC from "Life according to Mrs. LC" had sent me some tasty goodies--chocolate and Lara bars--and somehow she "knew" to send me the coconut kind! I always wanted to try more coconut flavored things, and in a beloved "bar" couldn't be better!

Better yet, I feel like Mrs. LC must have stalked my facebook, not just my blog--she created a gorgeous MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE BOOK for me! I absolutely love quotes. I have several documents and an email file of ones I've saved. I repeat them as mantras and they have had an extremely positive impact on my life's journey and are part of the core of my tenacity. I was just thinking that my old emails and files were getting redundant. I've browsed the booklet eagerly, and look forward to taking one or two to heart each day with a new zest and RAWR!

She also had the very creative idea to "send me flowers." Have I ever said anything about the fact that one of my main girlie touches is that I have a big soft spot for getting flowers? For someone who loves the practical and has a tomboy sort of theme, flowers are the one thing I consider so special and touching. Since flowers are a bit difficult to package she sent me some Zinnia seeds. I plan to plan them over spring break next week and use the flowers as a manifestation of the life I am trying to "grow" for myself this year!

Muchos thank you's to Mrs. LC from "Life According to Mrs. LC" for these wonderful treasures:

...I did make it to practice just in time, but the moment I got home I anxiously popped on to check out Mrs. LC's blog...and guess what? My own Secret Cupid Anna at http://runeatplayandbreathe.blogspot.com/ had received her package as well.

Here's a toast to new friends and ties amongst our fitness/foodie blogging community. I love you all!